I get wrapped up in the planning of something...so much that it doesn't get done. No real work gets done, just lists and schedules or just OVERTHINKING to an absurd degree about how I will do something.
I have set out to make myself a schedule or a new approach to doing things so many times. It was a once to twice a year occurrence in college. It did not help, I took time off and barely graduated! I've tried it at jobs and had shoddy results. I've tried it at home and had shoddy results. I do probably spend too much time making plans, but the real issue is that I don't stick to them at all. It comes to that first day to do the thing I put on the calendar...and "NAH". I just skip over it and carry all of the self loathing that comes with doing that. Those bad feels are still hanging around the next time I think about making plans or getting organized. It's awesome /s .
I do have a sort of blank slate here though. I have a completely new environment and lifestyle for the next five months. There are literally no distractions around me. I have brought nothing with me but my laptop, bookmarked articles and a reading list for my kindle app. Today I made a detailed schedule of how to break up my free time and give regular attention to all of the topics I want to be more knowledgeable on. These include:
Philosophy: Cause you gotta know how to know stuff to know stuff
Statistics: Cause when people show you data on how they know stuff you should be able to judge for yourself
Climatology: Cause you shouldn't believe in it because your friends do...you should know stuff
Economics: I make money, and also the impacts of climate change will cost money...I better start knowing stuff about money.
Psychology/Sociology: How do we all together deal with knowing stuff?!?!
Theology/Scripture: I just want to be better read when I think about how we believe in stuff.
Additionally I want to get better at reading primary, peer-reviewed sources, and have consistent well-being practices. All of this is laid out in this schedule:
I am holding it loosely, as in I won't be stressed if I have to adjust it...but I am also hopeful that this quiet environment can allow me to hold to it and remain accountable to myself with these goals.
The worst possible outcome would be to have misses, get negative about them...and the negativity bring me down so much that I lose all my time trying to get on the horse.
Hoping for the best and I will keep up to date on this blog as I go through this time!